#26

Modern business is a con! A well arranged, safely stacked, two for one swindle. And what's worse it's carried out at eye-level. Of course, we all know that, but now I have proof of it.

MORRISONS till receipt 27/6/2004

Instant Mash potato mix ......................£1.64
Long life UHT milk   .............................£0.99
Chicken Soup x 4  ...............................£1.98
Rabbit & gravy dog food*......................£0.89
   *2 for 1
Tuna in jelly cat food*..........................£0.78
   *2 for 1
No thrills Tomato ketchup .....................£0.72
Pink Toilet Paper x 6. ...........................£1.49

Total  ..............................................£9.27

£9.27! Well according to my calculation it should have been £8.49! I was overcharged 0.78p. And that wasn't the only till receipt showing up an indiscretion. There are at least three others (although not quite as extreme) and I've only verified the last six years at present. Come first light Monday morning I'll be outside Morrisons with my vintage Casio FX-450 calculator. I'll catch the manager on his way in. The last time he stumbled past and I mistook him for a dosser off to take a shit in the doorway. I won't be fool to that ruse twice.

One shaft of light through my increasingly black existence is that the tranquillizers seem to be working. Last night I passed a full eight hours of sleep and there wasn't a single wheelchair dream to be had. Maybe this is the beginning of the 'turnaround'? Maybe Tristram Spencer is on the mend?

8 comments:

  1. Tristram, you don't have a cat or dog do you? Is it ok if I post anonymously? There's only one other Blog I post on and that's just because Anonymous posts are banned from it. To tell the truth, I'm not sure if you and John are real, or just an elaborate art project. Either way it's great.

    Best Wishes,

    Sub

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sub,

    Cat/dog, no. I don't have a cockatoo either, yet there are hundreds of packets of bird seed in my cupboards. I suppose I'm just a sucker for Special Offers. Once I bought a lawn-mower... I was living 16 storeys up at the time.

    Of course you can comment anonymously. That's no problem.

    Tristram. X

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  3. "no thrills". hehe. I'm a bit like anonymous up there; Im not sure what is real and what is fiction here, but that's part of the appeal.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Go talk to him. Yell if possible...:)
    BTW, you might want to take a Squirtgun along... hehe
    Smiles:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I haven't been by for awhile but it sounds to me as if you are the tiniest bit more cheerful. Don't hate me for saying that!

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  6. there's no difference between real and fictional on the internet

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ Dollyasylum: listen to OscarB. She knows more than what those ten words may let on. X

    @ Mr. Stupid: I've got a squirt gun and it's squirting a lot at the moment. It's the depression... i just can't seem to help myself. X

    @ Mrs. Moon: I hate you for saying that! Stay away longer next time! X

    @ Oscar B: Oh, it's nice to see you here. Just a kiss: X

    ReplyDelete
  8. What's with the Morrisson's fetish Tristram?
    You can get 12 rolls of really soft super saver toilet roll for the same price as you paid for 6 in the C0-OP.
    Its genuine two-ply quality stuff...but they only do 'white'.
    Is the colour THAT important?
    Being able to squander bog roll is one of the few decadent acts allowed to the terminally impoverished.
    (Impoverished in funds, not in spirit of course.)

    ReplyDelete

 
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