These last weeks I have seen the crazy, the insane, the unbelievable and the bizarre, but it all pales into insignificance with what has happened this morning. If I thought for one moment it was not the truth I would be laughing, but as it is, I am shocked into complete and utter submission.
Brace yourselves, because you're not quite gonna believe this one...
John is coming home, just not quite how anyone imagined. He will be delivered here in an ambulance, pushed out in a wheelchair, paralysed from the waist down! Sunday marathon sex sessions are cancelled forthwith, from tomorrow I will be sharing my flat with a paraplegic...
Tristram's Birthday: Sunday 3rd October
Cheap jam sponge or something a little more exciting? How will Mr Spencer celebrate his 32nd year in hell?
Trolley Dash August 2010
Did Tristram accidently pick up a REAL bargain?
Brian the Postboy's gift to John: an ankle bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong'
Scrap metal or has John been 'tagged'. Is Tristram Spencer really the only fated man in town?
The Dangerous Dandy by Barbara Cartland
Will Tristram finally be brought to account for his love of Babs? And: is 25 years hard labour enough?
An Influx of Pigeons
Is there still some hope for the fated Mr Spencer?
My spines fucked and my cock doesn't work... I just don't know what happened! And after all our plans, just as things were starting to look better. Why now?! i'm waiting for my wheelchair, the only one here in the hospital has disappered. But they promise they will find one, even if its only a manual one for now. You may need to lower the side units and table, even put a rail on the toilet. I can wipe.my.own.arse.but.not.much.else.
ReplyDeleteVerity, if you.read.this: I'm fucked, what do I have to look forward to but bedbaths and nappy rash! I think I'm gonna need all my friends through this.trying.time. XX.X
Wheelchairs aren't so bad.
ReplyDeleteIf I had my way everybody would be in a wheelchair.
Except me.
@ Abigail Winthrope (Mrs):
ReplyDeleteThat's your problem Mrs Winthrope, you don't dream big.
You could have wished the world into an iron lung.