When the bell rang out at 15h32 I was three quarters through emptying my latest bladder full of nervous anticipation down the pan. The “BRRrrriiiinnngggGG” caused me to jump and spray a huge slash of pee down the leg of my cricket trousers. “Fuck!” As I finished my business, I heard John's motorised wheelchair heading for the door and then the flimsy voice of Brian the Postboy (cum Sex Slave). As is common practice when one wants to get rid of a large annoying turd, I flushed the chain. That was also the cue for my appearance on set.
And what a set it was! There was Brian in a pair of red stretch jeans, black pointy shoes and a white baggy cowl neck t-shirt, and John, just behind, in his black satin Chinese dressing gown complete with embroidered dragon. Alongside Brian, John looked old and perverted. He was just a leer in a wheelchair.
“Brian,” I said soberly, offering up my hand.
“Aww, Mista T, I see you've 'adda bit of an accident!” was his reply, looking down at my crotch and ignoring my outstretched hand. “Never mind, we'll soon 'av you outta them. I'm not 'ere for overarm bowling. Hee hee.” . John made a noise and shook his head in disbelief. Then he said:
“Tristy, doesn't Aristotle look good?”
I eyed Aristotle, watching him camp it down the hallway. He was all fairy and floppy as if there was an inch gap between his joints. He looked like some obscene puppet on a string – one whose puppet master was off in La~La Land. “Fantastic,” I Said.... “Just fantastic”
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(Note from the Real Tristram Spencer)
ReplyDeleteThese posts detail what happned on monday. As I fell behind a little I had to edit them from what was intended to be a much longer post. There will be between 2 - 4 posts today (i think! :)
Sorry for the wait.
TRTS.
OH, SO YOU'RE ALIVE! CAN'T DENY THAT'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN A CAUSE FOR SHAME OVER THESE PAST WEEKS (ALL 1560 OF THEM).
ReplyDeleteI HAVE RECEIVED A LETTER FOR YOU HERE, FROM HOLLOWAY WOMENS PRISON!!!! WILL YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN? SHOULD I GET EXCITED?