In protest against Southwark council's hefty rise in Housing Tax, this morning I demonstrated my displeasure by dumping the following discounts items into the local canal:
27 mouldy pizzas, 8 rock hard baguettes, 20 pints of rancid milk, 7 tubs of melted pistachio ice cream, 87 dehydrated fish fingers, 7 sperm covered TV guides, ½ maggoty cow's brain and 5 'Jeffrey Archer' Jeffrey Archer novels.
As each Bargain of a Lifetime hit the water and sank, I screamed “Who's the bitch now, Southwark council! Who's the bitch now?”
From down the bank, where John was keeping dog, I'm almost sure I heard him mumble “you are.”
Tristram's Birthday: Sunday 3rd October
Cheap jam sponge or something a little more exciting? How will Mr Spencer celebrate his 32nd year in hell?
Trolley Dash August 2010
Did Tristram accidently pick up a REAL bargain?
Brian the Postboy's gift to John: an ankle bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong'
Scrap metal or has John been 'tagged'. Is Tristram Spencer really the only fated man in town?
The Dangerous Dandy by Barbara Cartland
Will Tristram finally be brought to account for his love of Babs? And: is 25 years hard labour enough?
An Influx of Pigeons
Is there still some hope for the fated Mr Spencer?
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