In protest against Southwark council's hefty rise in Housing Tax, this morning I demonstrated my displeasure by dumping the following discounts items into the local canal:

27 mouldy pizzas, 8 rock hard baguettes, 20 pints of rancid milk, 7 tubs of melted pistachio ice cream, 87 dehydrated fish fingers, 7 sperm covered TV guides, ½ maggoty cow's brain and 5 'Jeffrey Archer' Jeffrey Archer novels.

As each Bargain of a Lifetime hit the water and sank, I screamed “Who's the bitch now, Southwark council! Who's the bitch now?”
From down the bank, where John was keeping dog, I'm almost sure I heard him mumble “you are.”

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