Roy Walker, the once compère of the hit TV gameshow Catchphrase, used to urge the contestants to “Just say what you see!” or “If you see it, say it, thats the way to play it!” Well, here's what I saw.
Someone who looked like they were on the way out with cancer, shaven headed, six stone and drunk. At first I thought it was the Morrison's bum come begging for my shopping receipts again, but then it threw itself against me and started crying: “Triste, it was a fucking nightmare, Darl! A real fucking nightmare!” The voice was familiar, but it was the infamous Red Lesbo shoes which ultimately gave her away. This was no Morrison's bum, but a prison ravaged Verity Cooper, free after 32 days at Her Majesty's expense.
Tristram's Birthday: Sunday 3rd October
Cheap jam sponge or something a little more exciting? How will Mr Spencer celebrate his 32nd year in hell?
Trolley Dash August 2010
Did Tristram accidently pick up a REAL bargain?
Brian the Postboy's gift to John: an ankle bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong'
Scrap metal or has John been 'tagged'. Is Tristram Spencer really the only fated man in town?
The Dangerous Dandy by Barbara Cartland
Will Tristram finally be brought to account for his love of Babs? And: is 25 years hard labour enough?
An Influx of Pigeons
Is there still some hope for the fated Mr Spencer?
Please do not take the Lord's name in vain.
ReplyDeleteIt's like a sticky kitchen knife through my perm.
When I say 'Jeez' or the like, God knows I'm just being friendly.
So he tells me anyway.