It is said that everyone has one foot slightly larger than the other, but I've been sitting and staring at mine for nearly three hours now and cannot discern the slightest bit of difference. Even both my big toes are sprouted with the same number of fine hairs. I am absolutely symmetrical. Half a man x 2.
Dad once said that I reminded him of a worm. That even if he cut me in two both halves would probably crawl away and survive. He said that diseases were like that too. That they constantly halved and multiplied. He said that homosexuality was a virus, and that explained why queers didn't have to rely on vagina's to breed.
Dad spoke a load of crap. But as a young boy with unnatural reactions toward other young boys, it was crap that terrified me. Even now, at almost thirty two years of age, in moments of huge personal crisis, his insane words continue to taunt me. “Look at your feet!” he used to scream, “Tristram Spencer, you're only half a man!”
Tristram's Birthday: Sunday 3rd October
Cheap jam sponge or something a little more exciting? How will Mr Spencer celebrate his 32nd year in hell?
Trolley Dash August 2010
Did Tristram accidently pick up a REAL bargain?
Brian the Postboy's gift to John: an ankle bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong'
Scrap metal or has John been 'tagged'. Is Tristram Spencer really the only fated man in town?
The Dangerous Dandy by Barbara Cartland
Will Tristram finally be brought to account for his love of Babs? And: is 25 years hard labour enough?
An Influx of Pigeons
Is there still some hope for the fated Mr Spencer?
In Plato's Symposium, it is said that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.
ReplyDeleteLuckily Zeus is a legend and there is only one true God.
Otherwise you'd be a quarter of a man...
symmetry = beauty...it is a proven scientific fact.
ReplyDeleteOh Tristy your father could have been my mothers twin.. ( read my post today if you get the chance about her opinions on gay men)
ReplyDeleteI feel if you are symmetrical, you are perfect.. symmetry to me is essential having severe OCD, I often have to move objects until they are in perfect pose... I also have to lie totally symmetrical in order to orgasm .. there you go darling boy .. you are not just normal you are special xx