Whether the phone was still ringing when I entered the living room I don't know. I was veering back in horror, tears borne from pure shock in my eyes. Little Dick Tracy was sat cross-legged in the green armchair leafing through a vintage copy of Readers Digest. Hanging off his foot was a fake 9 carat gold bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong' and on his face was a pair of broken Elvis Costello type glasses.

“Fuck, Christ!” he said looking up, “if it isn't a ghost.”


  1. Hmm. Was all that drunken stuff just an act then, to get access to the house?

    But didn't the cops search the house before?

    And overlook the victim's broken glasses?

    Surely the police don't make such big mistakes?

    Ha - even my nephew's laughing at that.

    I've programmed his voice box to 'Baby',

    so it's quite infectious.

  2. I feel as though I am watching this unfold "Live"... Jesus man.. your are fucked ..sorry xx

  3. and you wiped his ass. That's gratitude for you. Couldn't Jaw's bowl fall off the top shelf and land on his head? Jaws, the jihad suicide killer goldfish.

  4. Please join our friend Jim's new blog:

    Seriously Grouchy Vacuum Tube Inspector

    Thank You. X

    Stacy: Oh yes... but it's not the slammer just yet. X

    Abigail: I'm not sure it was an act. I think he was really drunk, a bit confused, a bit lonely and a lot up to no good. I think his search was opportunistic. If Tristram hadn't fallen a kip he would never have had the chance.

    Yes the police did search, but Little Dick searched a little better.... maybe heard something rattle as he flushed the toilet. Next post will hopefully explain it. But why the pigeons? What on earth could they have to do with this sorry saga? X

    Ruby Suetday/ Bury Tuesday: I only wish I was buggered... at least it'd mean we were on friendlier terms. maybe he doesn't quite know what he's got. X

    Jim: yep, more humiliation for me. Who else but ME could end up wiping the arse of the detective intent on taking him out of circulation? It doesn't even surprise me any more... I just do it and call it My Life.

    Jaws history is not finished in this yet either. He's one more major storyline left.X

  5. Little Dick Tracy now has a face...

    (See Players)


  6. Love the image..mmmm, that must have been a huge butt to wipe ... "Suetday" ..he looks like he has been raised on the stuff :0 xx

  7. Ruby: You really are traumatised by that arse, aren't you? haha. You should be.

    I slimmed LD down a bit... I think he was a little too big in my first pic. Oh, and I gave him a stubble. X

  8. He looks even worse when contrasted with cute little Marlowe next to him.

    Pigeons? If it were Magpies I'd say they would swoop down and snatch some important evidence.

    I don't know if pigeons do that, as we have had them all evacuated from Abigail Island.

    Thick Blue Glasses and the Nerdettes used to freak out at the sight of them.

  9. the pigeons are bringing chaos home to roost...

  10. i think it gives you great pleasure to torture me by having me sit here refreshing my screen for an hour...tsk tsk...

  11. I am here writing, just didnr go very smoothly this time... but its coming along.

    Would you like me to set you up on email alerts? When i post it goes straight to your inbox? X

  12. lol...yes, i have that...i was just giving you a hard time.

  13. Well it's ten times longer than the hour I promised, but there's an extra long post to make up for it. Sometimes it happens like that.... it doesn't quite go as you'd expect. X


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