It's the day after the day before. I've been in bed for over 24hrs now, wrapped up like a disease. My three piss bottles are all full and need emptying but I don't have the energy to rise.

In a strange way I wish mother was here, that she'd bustle in, tear the curtains open and flood the room with daylight. That she'd pull a face of disgust as she gathered together my pee bottles and emptied them down the toilet. That she'd make me a tea, pull up a chair  and talk/listen to me... about anything, maybe even about John. But mother is far away, 25 years in the past, that's the last time she soothed me.  I was six and had fallen off the garage roof, hit my head and grazed my knee. As I watched Grace Kelly scale a building and climb in a window, mother bathed my head and sent me off into a series of little dreams. Father was there too, smoking and with a hand rested on my scrawny legs. As a child, I think that was the closest I ever got to feeling loved, even liked. God, what I would do for that now... for someone to pick me up and care. I think I need to call The Flaming Chef.


  1. We care.

    Ask my nephew. He gets round the clock care.

    I fear that in your weak state you may end up in the hands of some weird self-deluding cult...

    ...like the Scientologists, to whom we've lost so many of our flock.

    Some people will believe ANYTHING.

  2. That gives me an idea... Cruise is gonna get it on Sunday! X

  3. Oh yeah, and the celebrity Suicide Notes will have some relevance in the end. Not much, but the Nerdettes may just get it! X

  4. Oh dear. You shouldn't have said that. Thick Blue Glasses, 'leader' (ie tallest) of The Nerdettes has just achieved the closest thing to orgasm he ever will in his sure to be short life.

    He was already happy because they were just wrapping up their study of the last mystery. They beg me to enable Comments so they can tell you what you mean by The Numbers.

    Don't worry, I won't.

    Who knows what sort of nonsense they would come out with.

  5. If it makes you feel better, I like you. But on closer analysis I like you becaus I enjoy your angst ridden posts and If my liking you makes you happy then really, I am depriving myself of angst filled entertainment!

    Go figure...

  6. @ Mrs Winthrope: God, the leader of the Nerdettes sounds like a perfect candidate for dolphin therapy! That they solved anything is a miracle; two more and you can apply for sainthood. X

    @ Mind of Mine: Well it makes perfect sense to me, and so to keep a reader I'll go suffer some more. X

  7. The Flaming Chef would fix you a big bowl of chicken and dumplings and a pot of hot tea.

    "To Catch A Thief" is good therapy. Anything in Technicolor and Cinemascope is good for what ails you. I recommend the restored version of "Rear Window." Grace Kelley AND Thelma Ritter AND Raymond Burr AND a dismembered corpse!

    It doesn't get much better than that.

    In order to bring you chicken and dumplings I'd have to cross either the Pacific Ocean, Asia and Europe OR I'd have to cross all of North America then the Atlantic Ocean...

    I'm up to it, but my bank account is not.

    When the Flaming Chef is independently wealthy, that's just what he'll do. I'd even rest a hand on your ankle as you gaze at the TV.

    In the meantime, I do have an Aunt who lives in London. She used to write cookbooks...

  8. @ The Flying Chef: Excuse me for the delay in responding! X You never know, I may get to Portland first. Do you really have an aunt who lives in London? X


Waiting for John. Citrus Pink Blogger Theme Design By LawnyDesignz Powered by Blogger