There are NO suicidal celebrities this week, not even Britney Spears. The closest we can get is Morrissey, but apparently he's always been like that.
No, for some bizarre reason the A-list, B-list and EVEN the C list stars are ALL ecstatically happy and want to live. Leading this "I want to Live" campaign is no other than US presidant Barack Obama. He has even quit smoking in order to buy himself an extra 5 or 10 minutes smile time.
Hollywood Star paper/magazine says: "it's quite incredible!" and "we've never seen anything like it... everyone just seems diabolically cheerful and full of zest!"
One anonymous commentator, from a toilet somewhere in Southeast London, claimed to know the secret of the smiling stars. “John's coming home!” he beamed “In just under 24hrs My Love is coming home. Oh, I want to live forever!”