John's head rested at a strange angle. he looked like he was dead. His jaw was slightly relaxed and there was a long line of dribble hanging from the side of his mouth and collecting in a pool on the sheet. He wasn't wearing his glasses and I've never gotten used to the sight of him without them. That he was in my bed, laying besides me, was still surprising. I thought I'd wake to find it wasn't true, that I'd had one of those dreams which you curse for being a dream. But no, he was here, of his own accord – even if it was only because sleeping in the chair was giving him neck cramp.

I will only mention it to state the obvious, but no, we didn't have sex. Apart from two farts nothing happened at all. It's sad, but even now, even after all that has passed, I would forgive him in an instance for one genuine embrace, one loving touch or word that gave me back my beauty. But as the ceiling flakes down upon us, and events pile up one on top of the other, I know there is no stopping that which has already started.

John, John, John... If only today would last forever...


  1. "Apart from two farts nothing happened at all"..lol sounds familiar xx

  2. There is no point in telling you what an idiot you are.

    Having been in such a position myself, a metaphorical if not literal 'battered wife', I can only say:

    You can never get back all the time wasted.


    The longer it goes on, the more scars there are to heal...

  3. Wildernesschic: I knew you'd like that one! I hope it's not too familiar, though. My mother also farted twice: the first time I came out and thesecond time my brother. Unfortunately my brother was a miscarriage in a McDonald's toilet. As the legend goes, apparently he was flushed into history along with the wrapper from a cheeseburger. X

    Abigail: For reasons far beyond your scope of care I'VE MISSED YOU!

    I can't believe that, no one ever battered you? Are you sure? Then I can only assume you never married.

    But today your words are full of wisdom, and as I've done with the advice of all wise men (metaphorical, if not literal 'wise men') I'll ignore them. If ever a fool there was...

  4. I've been at lovely Glen Beck's rally in the states. The After Party was Historical. Sarah Palin is a magician. I had no idea: Sarah Does Tricks.

    Well I only said no HUSBAND battered me...

    ...there are memory gaps though.

    Which I am investigating.

    I too discard evidence from 'wise men'

    Except the Three Wise Men of The Bible who



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