'Super Dong'

That's the inscription engraved on John's 9 carat gold ankle bracelet.

I had just removed his left sock in preparation to clip back his thick yellow toenails when I caught sight of it.

  “And what the hell's this?” I asked, reading the inscription.
  “Oh, the bling. Yeah, just a little something Brian gave me. Nice isn't it? 'Super Dong John' that's what he calls me.”
  “ Nice? It's a piece of junk! If they hallmarked that there'd be nothing left! And where the hell did Herpes Hermes find a Ratners in 2010?!”
  “Ha, you're jealous! Fuck, Christ... how surprising, Tristy's jealous... ”
  “Oh, I'm not jealous John... Broken hearted, numb, splayed, tortured, yes, but not jealous. On that score you've scrunched me out emotionally. The only way you could make me jealous now would be by dying first. That's how sad the life has become.”

John smiled then reclined in his chair. He looked like a real pig. “Just cut the toenails, Tristy... I don't want to hear about your flimsy emotions. Set your tent up alongside someone who gives a fuck, because I don't. I've heard too much crap like that over the past two years... your fucking spoken word teenage angst diaries, staring up at a squashed fly on the ceiling and crying about how much you wished it was you! Fuck Christ, you had the world beside you and you still wasn't happy... I never understood why. Then I did. Then I realised... I realised I was the meat and you was the maggot... and you know what I do to maggots? I trap them under glasses, suffocate them with smoke, burn them with cigarettes, bathe them in bleach, stick pins in their middles, pop their eyes out, slice their bellies from head to shit hole, and then I squash the little fuckers out... Oh you're damn right! Now get fucking clipping!!!”

And I did.
What else was I to do?
He had finally completely fucking lost it.


  1. I don't understand why you're still with this Guy.


    If you really love him and there’s nothing I can do.

    Make it Easy on Yourself

  2. Be careful one of those disgusting yellow toe nails don't get in your mouth and choke you ... I would gather them up and sprinkle them on his cereal :) Crunchy nut cornflakes maybe xx


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