The fifteen tins of Rabbit & Gravy dog food which had rolled down the path and out into the street were the least of my worries. My main concern was to re-pot the four wraps of John spilled out on the ground, sit the window box back up on its sill, hard broom the yard, then fling a bucket of disinfected water across it. Only when I was finished with that did I busy myself with collecting up my dropped shopping.

Inside, with the yard looking a little less grotty than it normally does, I placed myself at the living room window and peered out, waiting for any signs of trouble. How this incident would play-out I just didn't know, though being totally honest, I secretly hoped that Marlowe would slink off somewhere he wouldn't be disturbed and wolf John's genitals down in peace. In that way everyone would kind of win: Marlowe gets his belly full; I get rid of a piece of damning evidence; John gets a little downstairs stimulation post-mortem. Parfait! Though as you've probably guessed, that's not quite how things panned out...

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