1. I love 'Forensic expert, Lee Deville'...and '...the traces of soil lifted from between the wrinkles of the scrotum bag...'

    Helena xx

  2. Well that's it then: the game's afoot.

    But what chance do you have against the combined might of Neighbourhood Watch Chairman Bernard Bartholemew, Forensic Expert Lee Deville and Little Dick Tracy?

    If only that stupid medium of mine wasn't in rehab and could channel Babs. There's always someone bribe-able and Barbara Cartland can sniff them out quicker than a free Champers and Caviar film premier.

    Thick Blue Glasses on the road??!!

    We'll see about that.

    He HAS been on a 'respite' holiday from me for 2 weeks (I know it's usually the other way round but this is MY island and we do things our way).

    But I refuse to believe that Simon would let ANY of his acts near Camberwell. Though it is a Hospice, which is sort of his style.

    I suspect a reader of this blog has used TBG's fame for his own ends.

    There will be an investigation!

    One to put Southwark's little Cluedo game to shame!

  3. @ Helena: Welcome back!!! X Yes, there's quite a few characters in WFJ now and I'm not at all sure if there's a brain between the lot of them??? It probably says quite a lot about what I really think about the people from my home town. X

    @ Mrs Winthrope: Yep, let hostilities commence. My saving grace for the moment is that it seems the police are concentrating on gardens. I may even volonteer my services to the search teams. bartholemew, Deville, Little Dick.... I still worry more about Brian, because John's name hasn't even been thrown into the mix yet. I'm sure it'll be that little shit who blows the whistle in that direction.

    TBG, well tickets are on sale... you can't argue with the papers. It's being advertised as 'Spandex pop' aparently it'll be the next big thing. X

  4. Tristram, dear, you're too kind!

    The only thing I can think to say is, how the hell did they get there?

  5. Yes:Brian has been suspiciously quiet. And will Verity crack under Little Dick's probing?

    I checked with Simon and that IS a Thick Blue Glasses imposter.

    Who we now have in custody.

    'B-b-b-b-b-but we wuz just a tribute band! We dinmean anyarm!'

    He will be dealt with later.

    I knew it was rubbish since we're nowhere near launching. My little stroke-victim ward who I promised to look after 24/7 (I wish I could remember his name!) is STILL stuck down the well!

    Every time we think we've got him up there's some problem: the lighting's not right/ the sound man messes up or the little idiot fluffs his lines.

    And down he goes again.

    But God put us on in this Earth to be tried and tested...

  6. Simon, it's a pleasure! How did what get there? The genitals? X

    Abigail: There's a lot of ifs and buts, and if I think of them they just equate into fears and I cannot even remove myself from under the blankets - not even for a piddle. But there's been enough of that in this blog already, so I'll stop there.

    An Imposter?! Well, that's a success in itself. I wish I had an imposter.

    I forgot about the little stroke victim. Sounds very charitable of you. X

  7. It gives a whole new meaning to the expression "The dogs bollocks" :)
    I need to go back and read a couple of posts .. I have fallen behind xx

  8. Hahaha thanks Tristy :D

    If John's name does come up, i'm assuming the DNA/blood from the genitals would make it easy for the police to make a match?

    Also, Marlowe running away with the genitals ahaha horrible but brilliant.

    Soup X

  9. Soup! That's no problem. thanks for reading.

    John doesn't have a criminal record (not that I'm aware of) so un less they took DNA samples in The Nuthouse, he's not on record. Though if he is, yes, he'll be identifieed and I'll be nine tenths on my way to hell. X

  10. Lee certainly is an expert on scrotum. I think it's a key part of all the trades he jacks around in.

  11. 'But what chance do you have against the ... might of ... Lee Deville ... ?'

    Also, Mr. Rose, what chance do you have?


Tristram's Birthday: Sunday 3rd October

Tristram's Birthday: Sunday 3rd October
Cheap jam sponge or something a little more exciting? How will Mr Spencer celebrate his 32nd year in hell?

Trolley Dash August 2010

Trolley Dash August 2010
Did Tristram accidently pick up a REAL bargain?

Brian the Postboy's gift to John: an ankle bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong'

Brian the Postboy's gift to John: an ankle bracelet inscribed 'Super Dong'
Scrap metal or has John been 'tagged'. Is Tristram Spencer really the only fated man in town?

The Dangerous Dandy by Barbara Cartland

The Dangerous Dandy by Barbara Cartland
Will Tristram finally be brought to account for his love of Babs? And: is 25 years hard labour enough?

An Influx of Pigeons

An Influx of Pigeons
Is there still some hope for the fated Mr Spencer?
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