Jim: Yes, I know. I loved that idea, that from a decomposing penis some anatomical police forensic expert/nutcase has managed to come up with a photofit of the person. And it kinda happens. With the police, but more with these 2 million year old bones that are found. From a finger bone, or a toenail, someone will not only piece together what the person looked like but the whole village life as well!!! X
Ruth: No worries??? I don't know. I don't care. I wish I was de... blah.
Nixon, even a bit of Ted Bundy and The Yorkshire Ripper in there. All I know is they've got the shirt wrong, John would never have made a fashion blunder like doing up his top button. Fools! X
Abigail, I'm not sure about spending a fortune, looks to me like they've downloaded two photos from the internet and cut bits out of one and placed them on top of the other. I hope no cost comes back to the taxpayer. The last thing I need right now is another one of Mr Bartholemews 'Specials'.
Them catholic priests they've certainly got an eye for that kind of a thing. Though a fully grown adult male penis may completely throw them... anything older than that from a 14 yr old boy and it may as well be a fanny. X
sorry ...giggle.... LOL ..."Them catholic priests they've certainly got an eye for that kind of a thing. Though a fully grown adult male penis may completely throw them... anything older than that from a 14 yr old boy and it may as well be a fanny. X" xx Tristy you are brilliant
Silon: Well that's just a photofit the police made. So it doesn't really look like him no, but there maybe enough resemblance that someone recognizes him. John looked like Elvis Costello... really. X
Some years ago, when I was in the Army, our mess barman absconded with the funds - not a huge amount, but enough to fund a short holiday. We didn't hear anything for weeks ...
Then one day, out of the blue, there was a phone call from the police in Clifton. Apparently, the remains of a man thought to have been a soldier had been found below the suspension bridge. Why they thought it could have been a soldier, I was never sure. It was probably 'code' for having amusing tattoos, such as having a big 'W' on each arse cheek, etc. which some of the chaps at that found amusing.
I digress.
"Unfortunately," came the detective's voice across the phone line, "the only part of his body that is recognisable is his penis. Do you happen to know if he was circumcised, or not?"
An interesting question. Scary to think that this might have been a method of identification. Of course, there is no professional reason for me to know that intimate detail, so I pleaded ignorance. I was so tempted to ask if it had a little red dragon tattoo - but that would have told them far more than they needed to know.
Six months later, I received a postcard from our barman, with a Moroccan stamp. He was working in a bar, having a great time, and saving up to come back - he was missing us!
___________
I see you met my sister, Nurse Nutting!. Brace yourself - she can be full of surprises, and is far from what you first see! ___________
Whilst waiting for John I pass my time staring at screen-savers, reading ingredient lists and old phone books. I encourage spam mail and try to make friends with the spammers. I count tiles, bricks and tins of soup and enjoy the sound of lawnmowers.
it is amazing what a penis can reveal about someone.ROTF
ReplyDeleteJim: Yes, I know. I loved that idea, that from a decomposing penis some anatomical police forensic expert/nutcase has managed to come up with a photofit of the person. And it kinda happens. With the police, but more with these 2 million year old bones that are found. From a finger bone, or a toenail, someone will not only piece together what the person looked like but the whole village life as well!!! X
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a decomposing convict .. you have no worries xx
ReplyDelete...actually he also looks like President Nixon
ReplyDeleteRuth: No worries??? I don't know. I don't care. I wish I was de... blah.
ReplyDeleteNixon, even a bit of Ted Bundy and The Yorkshire Ripper in there. All I know is they've got the shirt wrong, John would never have made a fashion blunder like doing up his top button. Fools! X
Abigail, I'm not sure about spending a fortune, looks to me like they've downloaded two photos from the internet and cut bits out of one and placed them on top of the other. I hope no cost comes back to the taxpayer. The last thing I need right now is another one of Mr Bartholemews 'Specials'.
ReplyDeleteThem catholic priests they've certainly got an eye for that kind of a thing. Though a fully grown adult male penis may completely throw them... anything older than that from a 14 yr old boy and it may as well be a fanny. X
sorry ...giggle.... LOL ..."Them catholic priests they've certainly got an eye for that kind of a thing. Though a fully grown adult male penis may completely throw them... anything older than that from a 14 yr old boy and it may as well be a fanny. X" xx
ReplyDeleteTristy you are brilliant
So that's what he looks like. So innocuous...
ReplyDeleteSilon: Well that's just a photofit the police made. So it doesn't really look like him no, but there maybe enough resemblance that someone recognizes him. John looked like Elvis Costello... really. X
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it have been spooky if the photofit had him with a pair of Elvis Costello type glasses...
ReplyDeleteDear Tristram,
ReplyDeleteThis is a true story.
Some years ago, when I was in the Army, our mess barman absconded with the funds - not a huge amount, but enough to fund a short holiday. We didn't hear anything for weeks ...
Then one day, out of the blue, there was a phone call from the police in Clifton. Apparently, the remains of a man thought to have been a soldier had been found below the suspension bridge. Why they thought it
could have been a soldier, I was never sure. It was probably 'code' for having amusing tattoos, such as having a big 'W' on each arse cheek, etc. which some of the chaps at that found amusing.
I digress.
"Unfortunately," came the detective's voice across the phone line, "the only part of his body that is recognisable is his penis. Do you happen
to know if he was circumcised, or not?"
An interesting question. Scary to think that this might have been a method of identification. Of course, there is no professional reason for me to know that intimate detail, so I pleaded ignorance. I was so
tempted to ask if it had a little red dragon tattoo - but that would have told them far more than they needed to know.
Six months later, I received a postcard from our barman, with a Moroccan stamp. He was working in a bar, having a great time, and saving up to come back - he was missing us!
___________
I see you met my sister, Nurse Nutting!. Brace yourself - she can be
full of surprises, and is far from what you first see!
___________
Glad the electricity has been sorted.
Look after yourself.
G =]